Adolescence is a time of incredibly physical, social and emotional growth, and peer relationships — especially romantic ones — are a major social focus for many youth. Understanding the role...
It is now an uncontested incident that technology is pervasive fully our lives. But how time again do we assess its aspect in our relationships, recognizing how, exactly, it has impacted the way we interact with those closest to us? Historically, we are going where no individual has gone before, hooked up to apps offering unprecedented uncovering to the innermost thoughts and actions of others, as serenely as new avenues to fink on our loved ones, swindler, and cover the tracks.
A Nielsen survey found that the average American spends 11 hours on social media, and more than half of that continually is spent looking at a smartphone or tablet. Technology has put our relationships in beta, redefining how we communicate our desires and trust one another. The science of epigenetics has shown that our experiences may permanently, even heritably, transform our DNA.
This means that traits we feel, like trauma and loss, change the way unborn generations are wired.
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Love is often called the supreme emotion, with romantic love considered a peak experience. Ansari, a comic best known for his performance on the TV show Parks and Recreation , may be an odd choice to author a serious book on this subject. Ansari spent over a year interviewing hundreds of people from around the world about their dating experiences and love lives. He also combed through research and interviewed experts in the field—like happiness expert Jonathan Haidt, marriage and family historian Stephanie Coontz, and psychologist Barry Schwartz, who studies the science of choice, to name a few.
In the past, single people may have met potential dates mostly through family, friends, or colleagues. These days, people can increase their dating choices exponentially via online dating services like OKCupid, Match. The benefits are pretty obvious: But, the downside of this wealth of opportunity is that it makes people tend to rush to judgment based on superficial information and to constantly second-guess themselves about whether, by dating someone, they may be settling too soon, before finding that the elusive Mr.
Other seeming benefits of technology can also go inadvertently wrong. For example, while many people enter the dating scene insecure about their attractiveness and fearful of making the first move, technology now allows them to test the waters a bit without jumping in—by Googling potential dates, checking out their Match.
As the anthropologist Helen Fisher argues:
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